Fortuitously, there will be an inherent absence of wankery in this little bit of nowhere. One can't exactly wank too much during the Back To school season and not make it sound like childish whining about annoying customers and the silly-assed stunts Head Office likes to pull.

However...there was the 5 year-old kid this past weekend who decided to pee on our store's carpet. (You laugh, thinking it's a joke. I cry, since I had to petty cash out for the carpet cleaner and air freshener.) While the incident itself occurred on my day off, I learned perhaps more details than I'd care to--and had to stare down at the stain on the carpet the next day as I opened for business. Apparently, during one of the busier periods on Sunday, this little girl looked down at the floor and announced, "Uh-oh, mommy! Pee!"

To which her mother sighed and said, "Oh dear." And proceeded to do nothing else about the matter. Now kids losing bladder control, I can understand. I have no qualms with that, ultimately. It happens. Mind you, I take serious issue with the parental units who then act as if nothing happened and saunter out of my soiled-carpet store without even issuing any shred of apology.

And naturally, people being people, they moved the small pylons my crew had set up to thusly prevent everyone from walking through the piss. Well, it's their shoes, I suppose, but still...courtesy seems rather defunct when it comes to shopping as a whole.

But hey, at least there doesn't need to be any Head Office silliness this time around! And you know...for the most part, that's actually the case. The only anecdotal thing I can mention is the strange fact that they decided to send us a 34" suitcase set.

For those of you (fortunate souls) who don't work at a luggage store (and how I hate you for your fortune! I vex at thee! Vex! Vex! Ve--oooh, a cookie! Nomnomnom...) Uh, where was I? Oh yes, the 34" suitcase. Bear in mind that the airlines will at best allow a 30" suitcase for check-in luggage. A 32" suitcase rarely is allowed on these days without considerable fees tacked on. Which naturally brings me to scratch my head and ask, "Why did they feel the need to purchase sets of luggage with an oversized 34" one included?"

Maybe they're over-compensating for something?

Not that it matters too much in the end. The 34" we got had a broken retractable handle; it was damaged before we even got it out of its box. So at least I don't have to annoy myself in selling it. But we did discover one cool thing: I can fit myself into a 34" suitcase easily and zip it up!

Sidenote: if I ever do something to seriously vex Mel in the future (and can't distract her with shiny cookies), and you suddenly notice she's bought a 34" suitcase...please let me know. I enjoy having the chance at a running start when it comes to fleeing for my sexy life.

Today's Lesson: when your shoes suddenly have mouths and can start talking like Muppets, it's time to buy new shoes.